Just The Girl Next Door (if she hunted zombies and watched porn)

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Moving On Down June 6, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — vukizzle @ 7:55 pm
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I hate moving. Most people do so this announcement should come as a shock to nobody, but I have about 100 brand new reasons to despise this standard and agitating process. It all started in mid-April when I told my friend Jenny that I was looking for a house to rent, as my current lease would be ending in June. She provided me with the contact information for the realtor she had used when finding her home and I immediately sent him an email with details about what I was looking for. He got back to me within the hour and thus began the search for my new home. I picked out a few homes in April but John (my realtor) informed me that it is best to wait until closer to your move-in date to avoid paying what is known as a holding fee for the home which basically means: if you are gonna put in an application for a house in April but aren’t going to be moving in until June, you still have to pay for them to hold the house for you as they could be renting it to someone that is ready to move in sooner so I tool his advice and waited until mid-May to start going to look at homes in person. Our initial search was disappointing but on our second outing I found the one I wanted. A perfect little single story with a beautiful backyard and big kitchen, located just mere miles from my work office. We filled out the paperwork and handed in all the necessary info on the 23rd of May. I waited until the 25th to contact the leasing agent for the home at which time she told me “Oops I left your application at the office so I won’t be able to look at it until Monday! Sorry”. The Monday she was referring to was the date I had planned on moving into the new place so you can understand my frustration but I gave her the benefit of the doubt and waited patiently for Monday. Monday came and then I received an email from John basically saying that we were approved on C Status which is realtor jargon for ‘contingent status’. Turns out they had to speak with the owners of the home first to see if they were going to allow my two cats to live in the house but the owners are old people who are retired and ‘travel often’ so they were unable to reach them. I then had to extend my current lease to give myself some time to hear back from this horrible little leasing agent named Judi who I wish nothing but bad things on, and that cost me a sad amount of money. On June 3rd I decided to go ahead and look at a few other homes to have a backup while I waited on Judi’s bitch ass and ended up finding a two story house that was ok but I didn’t really like it enough to pump the 2 grand it would cost to move in into a home that I felt was just ‘ok’. After a day or two of serious thinking mixed in with the occasional bout of sobbing like an infant over the amount of stress this was causing me, I decided to swallow my pride and settle for another apartment. I arrived at work on the 6th and as soon as I opened my laptop I checked Apartment Guide’s website to find something I could settle for. All the places I really liked were in the range of $1200-$1600 per month and the last thing I wanted to do was pay more than a grand for some apartment that I don’t love so again, I found myself having to settle for something that was ‘ok’. Is the new place as nice as the place i’d been living for the past year? No. But it is $500 cheaper than my old place so my need to be frugal overpowered my need to have a place that is ‘pretty’. What can I say, I like nice things. I want granite counters, hardwood floors, direct access garages and top of the line appliances but I also don’t want to pay out the ass for said things so a compromise had to be made. It’s like paying for a hooker: sure, you want the $3,000 per hour girl to come rock your world but hey man, you got bills to pay so you end up getting a $50 blowjob from Trixie in the Home Depot parking lot. Sure, you didn’t get the sex you wanted but hey, at least you got your dick sucked. It’s the little things that matter most.

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