Just The Girl Next Door (if she hunted zombies and watched porn)

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Weekend Adventures October 1, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — vukizzle @ 6:10 pm
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Every weekend I try to get out of the house at least once and do something exciting. Since I spend the majority of my time stuck in an office I prefer to pick weekend activities that are more outdoorsy like going to the mountains or one of the many random parks in Nevada. This past weekend I took a trip to the Wetlands Park which is one of the most interesting places I have been in awhile. I didn’t even know it existed until last week when I was researching new locations in Las Vegas. I saw several pictures and though it would be perfect for one of my little weekend trips so I grabbed my boyfriend, rolled a joint, and headed off to the other side of the town. Once we got there I knew right away this place was amazing. It’s several miles of trails that wind through a natural wetland area. 20-30 years ago this place was little more than a marsh but they have converted it into an awesome park with hikingย trails, rivers, streams, and several ponds. This park is also a habitat for Nevada’s wildlife from like turtles, coyotes, quail, chipmunks, roadrunners, and bunnies ๐Ÿ˜€

Feeshy

Such a beautiful place

We came across several places that I looked at and though to myself: “This would be a fun place to take my clothes off” so I did. I like to have pics set aside for when people buy me gifts of my amazon list so that I have something to send them as a thank you. These are some of the more PG-PG13 photos:

Then we stopped to smoke a little joint to further enjoy the nature experience.

Then we came to this area on the trail where one of the ponds had overflowed and was pouring over the sidewalk. My boyfriend and I looked at eachotherย and knew this place was PERFECT for skanky pictures so here are some of my favorites:

Annnnnnd here are a few “behind the scenes” photos I guess you could call them. Just random shots that I thought were kinda cute:

Thong Adjustment

Getting Dressed

Kinda looks like uncoordinated water ballet

And here we have the most hilarious and amazing photo of my boyfriend I have ever taken. I like to have him sit where I plan on taking photos so I can see if I like the lighting etc and this time I told him “Pose like I would” and he did this:

We arrived at the park at around 2:30 and didn’t get back to the car until 6 so we were walking for about 3 hours. Thank god I had comfy shoes on or I would have been complaining the entire time ๐Ÿ˜› So if you are ever in town and want to visit a place that isn’t raped with neon and the smell of hookers then head over to the Nevada Wetlands Park and be ready to walk for at least an hour.

About a week or so ago I had attempted to get my hair dyed purple. I went to the same girl that always does my hair and expected it to be perfect since she did such a good job when I got blue put in my hair. Since I last went to her she changed all her products to Paul Mitchell and apparently he doesn’t carry the shade of purple I wanted so this is the color I got, which is more red than anything else. The first day I got it done the top of it looked purple so I was happy but as I showered more times it got more red. I was mad but the color it is now is kinda cute so it’s not a big deal. Next time I will just go to a different stylist to get the purple done in a few months.

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Booze and Birthdays June 26, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — vukizzle @ 6:28 pm
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Hello blog readers!! Happy Tuesday to you all and welcome to more of my nonsensicalย  ramblings ๐Ÿ˜€ The past month or so has actually been pretty interesting so thankfully I don’t have to struggle through this post trying desperately to think of things that will amuse you enough to keep reading. Plus. there are slutty pictures in this blog so that in and of itself should be enough to make this worth reading/skimming through for photos. So let’s begin, shall we? A few weeks ago my roommate Jessica had her cousin Paula in town for a wee visit. She had recently turned 21 so naturally we all went out to get “white girl wasted” as Jessica likes to put it. Let me also just add that Paula is a fucking FOX. Not even fair. Check this girl out:

Standing next to her made me feel like I resemble Ron Howard or like…John Candy even. I do have self confidence but when I’m next to a mega-babe like this it just makes me feel frumpy. I decided to drink away my self loathing at dinner with some amazingly sugary alcoholic beverages ๐Ÿ™‚ The Sugar Factory is my favorite place in town mostly due to the fact that their menu is themed after fatty snacks which, as most of you know, are my most favorite kind of snacks.

A root beer float drink and a giant drink with gummi worms and dry ice in it

Oh yes, that is a S more’s martini.

It is fair to say that I got a bit drunk that night. And by “a bit” I mean I got wasted then had to go wait in the car to get some air while I sent drunk texts to people that barely made any sense. Party. The next night we went to the Red Rock casino which is right down the street from where I live. We gorged ourselves at the buffet on countless plates of food that was not half bad. Then we went to see Prometheus mostly because I am going to marry Michael Fassbender and I feel as though I have to support my husband and his body of work. Now i’m thinking about his body…I need a minute…aaand i’m back. So we saw the movie in 3D and despite my apprehensions about spending $40 fucking dollars on 2 tickets I did it anyway and am soo glad I did. Fun Fact: 3D movies are the shit. I expected some lame ass movie with 2 seconds of “3d” anything but the whole movie was 3d which was pretty dam nifty. You kids and your technology these days. Jessica also got a gift card from her job to go on a little shopping trip to Top Shop so her and I drove our happy asses to the Fashion Show mall to spend other peoples money which is always fun. She got this wicked cute dress:

And I got this cute little bra because I just can’t help myself when it comes to shopping. And hey, it was on sale:

And this is what Jessica looks like after a long night of drinks:

Cuddles

Yesterday (June 25th) was not only Jessica’s birthday but it was also my boyfriend’s birthday. What are the odds that my two favorite human beings were born on the same day? She turned 25 and he turned 27 so we celebrated by going to Kona Grill. I had never been there but Jess really digs that place so we went and met her family there for dinner. I won’t bore you with some food review of the place but I will bore you with pictures of fooooooood:

Standard bathroom photo-op

One of the gifts I got for Jess was a cute little cupcake shaped pinata. I saw it at the store and thought “I bet Jessica would love to beat the candy out of this bitch” so I had to get it. I filled it with some awesome treats then snuck down to the garage to hang it up. Then I went upstairs, looked at her on the couch and simply said “Grab your wooden sword and meet me in the garage.” She just smiled and looked at me as if to say “I don’t know why but I don’t care, let’s fuckin do this” which is reason number 5,374 why she is my best friend. She didn’t even ask “why?” She was just down lol She beat the living hell out of that thing. It was like some grotesque paper mache crime scene. Candy everywhere, rope still hanging from the rafter…the children were crying.

This is hands down my favorite picture of her that I have ever taken. It sums up her personality so well lol I would also like to take a minute to thank anyone who got Jessica a gift off her amazon list for her birthday. She got soo excited whenever she found a new item was on its way and it makes me smile to see her happy so thank you guys. And now I leave you all with a few pics from the set of “thank yous” I did for her gift givers because I love my body and this is my blog so I will post whatever I dam well please:

And that is all I have to say about that ๐Ÿ™‚ Not much else is new. I got a raise recently at work which of course came with a fuckload of new responsibilities but I am fine with that because I am one of the few people in the world that actually likes their job. I don’t mind extra work if it means our company will gain something from it. I also have been reading a psychology book that I picked up not because I plan to become a psychiatrist but psychology fascinates me. It is the study of why and how you are the way you are so why wouldn’t somebody be interested in knowing more about the way they work. It’s kind of like reading an Owners Manual for your brain. Who knows, maybe I will change my career path and decide that I want to be a therapist and then all this reading will come in handy. Or I can just use it to secretly judge and psychoanalyze people that I know. Either way. I hope everyone has a great day and thank you again for reading my malarky โค

 

This Is Halloween (Everybody Scream) November 1, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — vukizzle @ 6:52 pm
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Hello my little love muffins!! I hope you all had a safe and fun holiday weekend ๐Ÿ™‚ Some people celebrated all weekend long but I chose to wait until the actual day of Halloween to bust out my costume. As most of you know from my Tumblrย  and Twitter, my best friend Jessica and I decided to dress up as Daria and Jane from the 90s show Daria. Well..Daria was originally from Beavis and Butthead if you want to get technical..which I always do ๐Ÿ˜€ I bought the majority of my outfit on Ebay because I figured I would only wear most of the stuff once so why spend $200 on one-use items. That is madness and I am far too cheap for that. Especially the combat boots I was wearing, I mean..they were cute but that whole “I’m gonna rip your face off cuz i’m a badass chick” thing isn’t my style. I would say I’m more of a “I’m gonna load you a bowl in my bong and teach you to love everything” girl. Here are some pics of us at the apartment before going out:

I look suuuper excited

Jane Lane

Daria Morgendorffer

Before we went out we also watched Nightmare Before Christmas and Coraline whilst making Halloween cookies ๐Ÿ˜€

These are the cookies Jessica made ๐Ÿ™‚

These are the cookies made by Vuko ๐Ÿ™‚

None of us are into the nightclub scene so we opted to stroll around the Vegas Strip looking at all the tourists costumes and downing those delightful long beverages that can be purchased at your local Fat Tuesdays.

Mmmmm liquor

Outside of the Excalibur

We parked at Planet Hollywood and just walked from one end back going into random casinos along the way. It’s hard to remember things in order from last night since my brain is still throbbing from all the Bacardi 151 that was in my drink but I think we went from Planet Hollywood to the New York New York, then the Excalibur, then we walked back in the direction of City Center and ended up inside of the Aria. Then this happened:

Allll gone

Which of course led to this:

#FunFact Jessica's booty is like a pillow ๐Ÿ™‚

And this:

We decided to start Vogue-ing next to the high fashion crap

"I work out"

Did you know that the Cosmopolitan has Umbrella Corporation art on it?

Then we met up with a friend of Jessica’s and headed back to the Planet Hollywood but on the way there people wanted to keep taking pictures with Jessica’s friend Matt lol Not sure why…he wasn’t even in a costume:

Maybe it's like Coming To America and he is the prince of some country I have never heard of

I also noticed that I was infatuated with butts that evening and spent a good portion of my time taking pictures of random girl’s rumps. Not creepy at all. Nope.

Wonder Woman booty

I'm actually really sad this one is blurry cuz that woman's ass was a thing of beauty

As we were walking around we came upon this random item. This kind of stuff is not at all weird in Vegas, I expect to see pool toys fully inflated and resting in a bush miles away from any pools or water of any kind.

Around 3am or so we decided to leave since I had to work this morning at 9:30 so we headed home and on the way grabbed my all time favorite food to eat when drunk: Del Taco! Here I am shoveling food into my mouthole:

Om nom

And that’s pretty much it! We drank long drinks, smoked a few bowl on the Strip, then went home to grub away on the floor like animals. All in all I would say it was a glorious evening. And to top it all off I only drunk texted one person instead of everyone in my phonebook like I usually do lol I get happy/loving when I am drunk and I like to share it so typically I end up drunk and texting 8 different friends at once. OH! I got a sticker for my laptop from my friends at Daps so I would like to shamelessly plug their website here and make sure you all check out:

http://dogandponyshowwebsite.com/

To show you how awesome they are just look at this lovely piece of artwork that they drew for me:

It is currently hanging in my Living room

Well, that’s all I have to say about thaayaaat. I would have to say overall I was unimpressed by the costumes I saw this year and am so tired of all the “sexy cop” shit. Next year I expect to see wicked awesome costumes like people dressed up as Pulsars and like…Cthulhu. Step your game up dam it! And now I will have that horrible “Step your game up” song stuck in my head all day. I blame you guys. Later!!!

 

New Years Eve in Las Vegas July 1, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — vukizzle @ 8:59 pm
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At the closing of each year people all over the world, regardless of race or religious beliefs all celebrate a global holiday. One final party to say farewell to the past and welcome in the future with open, and typically drunken arms. I speak of course about New Years Eve. New Years is one of the very few holidays in existence that is celebrated by not just one group like Americans on the Fourth of July and Christmas for only those that believe in it but by all the people of the world. This truly makes it a special event. Knowing that all across the globe, people are ringing in the New Year in their own towns gives one a sense of togetherness and unity. Some cities make New Years Eve into the biggest party of the year like the well known mass gathering at Times Square in New York where they traditionally drop the giant ball as the clock strikes midnight. Las Vegas has been giving New York a run for it’s money in the past several years in terms of the ultimate party destination for New Years Eve by bringing in the biggest names in entertainment and throwing the most talked about bashes at the top clubs. New Years Eve in Vegas is truly a sight to be seen. Thousands upon thousands of people flooding the Vegas Strip turning the once traffic ridden street into a living river of bodies. The lines at the nightclubs go from slightly long to “Sweet lord, look at that line!”. If you do plan on coming to Vegas for New Years I highly suggest planning ahead. By which I mean figure out what you want to do when you arrive at least 2-3 weeks in advance. If you are waiting it out to see which celebrity will be at which club you may be out of luck as most clubs don’t release their guest host until a week prior to the actual event date. They have also been known to simply say they will have a “surprise host” leaving you to only guess who will be there so trying to plan around a certain celeb isn’t the best way to go. I recommend picking the venue first. Look around online and see which clubs appear as though they will suit your group best based upon the pictures and reviews from past clientele on websites like Yelp. Also keep in mind that regardless of where you go, you will be spending some money so make sure it’s at a place you enjoy so that you won’t be left with the bitter thoughts of “If I knew I was gonna spend this much I would have gone to *** instead!”

 

{I had written this post for our companies website and liked it so I wanted to share on my personal blog}

 

Zombie Prom!!! June 27, 2011

Hello my Loves!!! Did you have a nice weekend? Has anyone asked you yet if you are suffering from a case of the Mondays? Did you resist the urge to sock that person in the jaw? Good for you! Well I don’t know about you guys but I had a pretty kick-ass weekend. As most of you already know from my previous blog post and numerous tweets, I attended the annual Zombie Prom on Friday and it was AWESOME. I ended up picking the purple dress from our dress hunt because as I said, it felt like the dress that Prince would have picked….had he been shopping with me at Goodwill. Which would have been rad. But I digress. After work on Friday I went home and me and Jessica (my bestie and date for ZP) started getting ready immediately. Well, almost immediately. First we had to smoke the awesome new bong that my lover bought us.

Zee Bong

Then Jessica torso danced on my couch like the goofball that she is. Which is yet another reason I lurve her so dam much ๐Ÿ™‚

After the upper-body dancing had ended it was then time to put on the layers of makeup necessary to make us look like undead bitches. Oh…but first we did this:

EXTREME DUCKLIPPING!!

We are currently practicing for the Extreme Ducklipping competition that is to be held in the fall of this year. I hear it’s even gonna be an Olympic sport now. Anywho, we did eventually start getting ready and it looked something like this:

Annnnnd here is the finished product of the hour and half makeup applications:

This is what I looked like when we were done ๐Ÿ™‚

Meeeeeeeeeeee

Aaaaaaaaaaaand this is what my sink looked like when we were done lol

Suuuuch a mess. Fake skin and blood eeeeverywhere.

After we got ready we got into my car..very carefully so as not to get too much crap all over the inside of my car meaning I didn’t want zombie makeup all over my seats but, meh. What can ya do. It was inevitable. Once we got the Downtown, which is where the Zombie Prom was being held, we parked the car and began the loong walk to the Bunkhouse. Now…idk why we chose to park so very far but, well, we did. We had to walk a few blocks dressed as zombies so naturally ever 5 minutes we got some random dude trying to talk to us and we ignored all of them except for one guy who said “Heeey vampires!!” to which I said “ZOMBIES!” I am not a fucking pussy vampire you asshole. I am a zombie god dam it. Once we got there we had a few drinks and waited for my brother to show up with his friends. We were pretty much drunk by the time they got there lol

Daaaaaruuuunk

This is me and my big brother Jeff ๐Ÿ™‚

Yeah...he is such a ladies man ๐Ÿ˜›

Me and Ashley

This is me and Ashley a girl I have known since high school and she is amazing. In fact, she is so cute, here is a gratuitous picture of her:

And now back to the zombie prom lol This dude was there which was great and he had dressed like a lady.

They also had a bunch of live bands which was awesome. The bands consisted mostly of angry women which is fine with me, I love pissed of chick rockers yelling incoherently into the mic while flipping off the audience, woooooo!

After awhile I started to get restless so me and Jessica went to get McDonalds. We spent the rest of the evening smoking a joint and drunkenly eating fast food in my car which was a great way to end the night. Then I went home and took a nice drunk shower and let me say, showering when you are shit-faced is way more fun than a sober shower.

STOP, shower time

I think from now on I am gonna get wasted before each of my showers just to make them more interesting. This is what my car looked like the next day:

Note the "this is where I put out the joint" mark and the fake skin everywhere lol

The next day I woke up with a suuuuper lame hangover so I spent most of the day being extra lazy. I laid on the couch eating chocolates and watching Tales From The Hood.

I also got this foxy little outfit in the mail over the weekend and decided to put it on for my man so when he came home from work he would walk in the door and see his woman dressed like a tramp ๐Ÿ™‚ He works at a nightclub where he is surrounded by hot sluts that are all sauced up on vodka and looking to fuck so I like to be sure and remind him that he doesn’t need to go out for burgers when he has a steak at home ๐Ÿ˜‰

I also noticed my left arm is pretty much an entirely different color than the rest of my body

lol This is because when I drive home from work mon-fri the sun hits my left arm and only my left arm so it has tanned and made it look as though my arm doesn’t belong to me. It makes me feel like Wrath from the anime Full Metal Alchemist. If you have never seen that show, go watch it now because it is fucking amazing and once you finally see Wrath the joke I just made will totally make sense and you will “lol” and it will be good. And that is all I have to say about thaaaat. So have a wonderful day and even if you are having a shitty day you should cheer up because life is good ๐Ÿ™‚ Don’t believe me? Check this out:

I don’t even know what this is, or where you can get one, but all I know is that looking at this gives me hope for tomorrow. It let’s me know “hey, don’t be sad. The world is full of stuff like this. One day..you shall nom on this.” And that gives me strength to get through each day. Some people have God, I have cakes and pies.