Hello blog readers!! Happy Tuesday to you all and welcome to more of my nonsensical ramblings 😀 The past month or so has actually been pretty interesting so thankfully I don’t have to struggle through this post trying desperately to think of things that will amuse you enough to keep reading. Plus. there are slutty pictures in this blog so that in and of itself should be enough to make this worth reading/skimming through for photos. So let’s begin, shall we? A few weeks ago my roommate Jessica had her cousin Paula in town for a wee visit. She had recently turned 21 so naturally we all went out to get “white girl wasted” as Jessica likes to put it. Let me also just add that Paula is a fucking FOX. Not even fair. Check this girl out:
Standing next to her made me feel like I resemble Ron Howard or like…John Candy even. I do have self confidence but when I’m next to a mega-babe like this it just makes me feel frumpy. I decided to drink away my self loathing at dinner with some amazingly sugary alcoholic beverages 🙂 The Sugar Factory is my favorite place in town mostly due to the fact that their menu is themed after fatty snacks which, as most of you know, are my most favorite kind of snacks.
It is fair to say that I got a bit drunk that night. And by “a bit” I mean I got wasted then had to go wait in the car to get some air while I sent drunk texts to people that barely made any sense. Party. The next night we went to the Red Rock casino which is right down the street from where I live. We gorged ourselves at the buffet on countless plates of food that was not half bad. Then we went to see Prometheus mostly because I am going to marry Michael Fassbender and I feel as though I have to support my husband and his body of work. Now i’m thinking about his body…I need a minute…aaand i’m back. So we saw the movie in 3D and despite my apprehensions about spending $40 fucking dollars on 2 tickets I did it anyway and am soo glad I did. Fun Fact: 3D movies are the shit. I expected some lame ass movie with 2 seconds of “3d” anything but the whole movie was 3d which was pretty dam nifty. You kids and your technology these days. Jessica also got a gift card from her job to go on a little shopping trip to Top Shop so her and I drove our happy asses to the Fashion Show mall to spend other peoples money which is always fun. She got this wicked cute dress:
Yesterday (June 25th) was not only Jessica’s birthday but it was also my boyfriend’s birthday. What are the odds that my two favorite human beings were born on the same day? She turned 25 and he turned 27 so we celebrated by going to Kona Grill. I had never been there but Jess really digs that place so we went and met her family there for dinner. I won’t bore you with some food review of the place but I will bore you with pictures of fooooooood:
One of the gifts I got for Jess was a cute little cupcake shaped pinata. I saw it at the store and thought “I bet Jessica would love to beat the candy out of this bitch” so I had to get it. I filled it with some awesome treats then snuck down to the garage to hang it up. Then I went upstairs, looked at her on the couch and simply said “Grab your wooden sword and meet me in the garage.” She just smiled and looked at me as if to say “I don’t know why but I don’t care, let’s fuckin do this” which is reason number 5,374 why she is my best friend. She didn’t even ask “why?” She was just down lol She beat the living hell out of that thing. It was like some grotesque paper mache crime scene. Candy everywhere, rope still hanging from the rafter…the children were crying.
This is hands down my favorite picture of her that I have ever taken. It sums up her personality so well lol I would also like to take a minute to thank anyone who got Jessica a gift off her amazon list for her birthday. She got soo excited whenever she found a new item was on its way and it makes me smile to see her happy so thank you guys. And now I leave you all with a few pics from the set of “thank yous” I did for her gift givers because I love my body and this is my blog so I will post whatever I dam well please:
And that is all I have to say about that 🙂 Not much else is new. I got a raise recently at work which of course came with a fuckload of new responsibilities but I am fine with that because I am one of the few people in the world that actually likes their job. I don’t mind extra work if it means our company will gain something from it. I also have been reading a psychology book that I picked up not because I plan to become a psychiatrist but psychology fascinates me. It is the study of why and how you are the way you are so why wouldn’t somebody be interested in knowing more about the way they work. It’s kind of like reading an Owners Manual for your brain. Who knows, maybe I will change my career path and decide that I want to be a therapist and then all this reading will come in handy. Or I can just use it to secretly judge and psychoanalyze people that I know. Either way. I hope everyone has a great day and thank you again for reading my malarky ❤