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Broken Cars and Aquatic Hatred December 20, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — vukizzle @ 10:01 pm

Hello world! So it has been awhile since I posted a blog and I like to do one at least every month so that you don’t forget I exist 😀 The last few weeks has been…interesting to say the least. I guess we can start with the biggest issue in my life right now, which would be my car or lack there-of. About two weeks ago I was driving downtown near the Hard Rock when my car suddenly died. It was pretty random too, it didn’t make a  putting sound or die slowly it just literally shut off as though somebody flipped the “off” switch in my vehicle. I coasted my ass over to the side of the road and turned on my flashers so no muppet would hit me from behind. That’s what she said. Then I opened the hood and looked in at the engine as though I knew what I was looking for, like I had any clue what to do if I found the problem. It just made me feel better to open the hood I guess since that is what people typically do in a situation like that. I flagged down a few cars and none of them could help me. The first two people had no jumper cables and the cab that stopped to help me couldn’t do so for legal reasons. Here is a Fun Fact for you: If your car breaks down in Vegas the taxi drivers aren’t allowed to jump your car for liability reasons. Something about how if your car gets shorted out you can sue them or some shit. I called my bestie Jessica to come help me and when she arrived we googled “how to use jumper cables” lol Pathetic, I know, but we always have guys around to help us with that stuff so we didn’t actually know how to do it ourselves. We tried it and nothing happened so I sent Jessica into the Double Down Saloon to ask some big beefy dude to help us out. She emerged less than a minute later with some big biker dude. He tried to jump my car but it turns out it was totally broken so the jump did nothing. The goggles do nothing!! lol sorry. Random Simpsons moment. So anywho, big biker dude pushed my car into the parking lot of the Saloon and me and Jess called a tow truck. This was actually pretty amusing because it was really hard to find a tow truck driver at 3am that spoke English. Major language barrier here. When we finally got a hold of somebody his ringback tone was Madonna’s Like a Virgin. We laughed for like..10 minutes over that one. What 50 something year old Mexican tow truck driver like Madonna songs? Random. The next day we dropped my stupid car off at to be fixed and didn’t hear back from the mechanic for 2 days. At which point he told me they had no idea what happened to my car or why it broke but they DO know that I need a brand new engine. Of course I do. You don’t know how or why but you know you want me to give you about two thousand dollars huh? Yeah, no thanks. So I had my car towed back to my parents house where it now sits in their driveway…missing me…collecting dust. *le sigh* But never fear! My super awesome boss Noah is going to help me buy a new car so I should be mobile before the end of the year 🙂 I really do haaate being driven around by other people, it makes me feel like I’m 15 years old again. Coupled with the fact that I hate asking people for favors, this makes for one shitty situation but it could be sooo much worse. At least it was my car that broke down and not me or my body lol I could be in the hospital or something but nope, just my car. Things can always be worse people, remember that.

I have also noticed something about video games that I think is some kind of conspiracy: Water is evil. In dam near every video game I have ever played, the water themed level is not only super hard but exceedingly annoying. We are all familiar with the fuckery known as The Water Temple from Ocarina of Time but let’s explore this theory further, shall we? Sonic The Hedgehog on the Sega. All the levels were challenging yet fun, until you get to the Labyrinth Zone and have to deal with collecting little air bubbles, lest you die a painful death.


Then we have the Mario games, particularly Super Mario for the SNES. Great game, fun levels, except the water levels. Especially the Ghost Ship level….good lawd. Even in games like Scarface where if you fall into the water, you get eaten by a shark. A fucking shark son!


So what is it that video game developers have against H2O? Is it because they hate to shower? Bathing in general takes up precious video game time so maybe that is where this need to annoy us with water stems from. I can only assume.

I have to get back to doing something productive now so I will leave you know with this  comedy: http://youtu.be/Ly3OTtXdJEg    and the hopes that you and your loved ones have a great Christmas/Kwanzaa/Hanukkah/Robanukah or whatever it is you crazy kids celebrate these days.


One Response to “Broken Cars and Aquatic Hatred”

  1. Huff Says:

    Sorry to hear about your car troubles. If it’s any consolation I’m a big beefy guy and I have no idea how to use jumper cables. 😦
    But in the spirit of Christmas and those bad family-type TV movies It’s nice to know who your friends are who will help you out in times of need.

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