Just The Girl Next Door (if she hunted zombies and watched porn)

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LOOK AT MY BEAVER!! (trip) July 19, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — vukizzle @ 6:24 pm

Hello everyone!! So this past weekend I took a wee camping trip to Beaver Utah. Our journey began on Saturday morning. We woke up at 8 and smoked a few bowls in the bong before kissing the cats goodbye and hopping into the car. The first half of the trip was not very visually appealing as the desert doesn’t provide much eye candy.

Whenever I take a drive through the Nevada desert I can’t help but think of the movie Tremors. I envision graboids sliding along under the desolate ground, waiting for Kevin Bacon to get off that boulder so they may feast upon him. Which raises the question: Would Kevin Bacon taste like bacon?  We then stopped in a small town to refuel the car with gas and refuel our bodies with beef jerky and orange soda. I could tell by looking at the sunken, tired faces of the locals that the only thing to do for fun in that town is meth.

The town school is the size of my high school cafeteria

Some small towns are adorable, some make you head back to the car swiftly so that you may leave and never return. Initially we had intended on going to the Great Basin National Park to camp but we had encountered some malarkey and had to readjust our plans a bit.

This is where we planned on going

Did you know there are only 3 campgrounds in the Great Basin National Park? All of which were completely occupied when we arrived on Saturday afternoon. We drove all over that park, and all the way up to the top of Wheeler Peak to find a campsite.

Wheeler Peak

They have 2 additional campgrounds for people with 4×4 vehicle but seeing as my Kia does not come standard with off roading capabilities, we passed on those options. The ranger suggested we stay at a motel to which I laughed. If I wanted to sleep in a bed, I would have stayed at home sir. We headed back to Baker to get gas for the car and rethink our next move when we saw a sign telling us we were a mere hundred miles from Beaver which is a small town in Utah located next to a giant mountain that is covered in lakes. I had never been there before but my boyfriend’s father used to take him fishing in those lakes often so we decided to just go to Beaver so we headed out into Utah. Mormon country. As soon as we had crossed the line into Utah, unease began to settle in. “What are the marijuana laws like here” I wondered, as we sped along the copper colored stretch of road. “Should we outrun the pigs and make a break for the Nevada state line? Why am I thinking of Dukes Of  Hazard like scenarios?” I also wondered why the road is red in Utah.

Paved with the blood of non-believers

At this point it was about 6pm so I was worried we wouldn’t be able to reach the campground before dark but sure enough, we got there around 8:30 and the sun was still up. For some reason, the sun didn’t go down where we were until after 9:30pm. I have noo idea why that is, i’m sure it has something to do with the elevation but I was a bit mind blown by that. We stayed at Kents Lake campground and this place is officially my new favorite camping getaway. This mountain is covered in trees, flowers, and creeks and is home to many deer and even a few beavers, hence the name of the mountain.

This is what I saw when I unzipped the tent in the morning 🙂

The Host of the campground was an adorable little old man. When we were paying for the site we handed him exact change and he commented that “Oh I love exact change, those people from Vegas always have the hundred dollar bills.” We then laughed and told him we are in fact from Las Vegas but we have been camping enough to know you need to bring small bills to pay for the site. We left Sunday afternoon and it’s funny that it took us 8 hours to get there and only 3 hours to get home. Madness. It’s also funny how different camping is now that I am no longer the child along for the ride but the adult in charge of the trip. Being able to not only choose the location but the food you get to bring and how you are going to get there. Being responsible for packing the car up and washing the clothes once you get home. I even noticed changes in my thought process. When we were on the drive up we happen to be behind a U-Haul and instead of just ignoring it and looking out at the trees outside my window I was reading the information on the U-Haul and thinking to myself how efficient the new lower loading dock on the vehicle is. I am slowly but surely turning into a boring adult. I am fighting it though, making sure I spend as much time as humanly possible on the couch in my underwear avoiding all forms of responsibility. So that was my trip! I ate steak cooked over an open flame, I fucked in the forest, and I came home from the woods refreshed and ready to get back to work in the city. If you haven’t gone camping in a long time I highly suggest planning a trip, even if it’s for one night. We all need a break sometimes and taking a break in nature just seems like the most natural way to spend your free time 🙂

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Half n Halfs and Subtitles July 5, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — vukizzle @ 5:36 pm
Tags: , , ,

I was watching some ‘adult films’ with my boyfriend last night and a thought occurred to me. Ya know when you are watching a really hot scene and the two people keep whispering stuff to eachother and you can’t tell what they are saying, but you can tell it’s something sexy? You can’t exactly ask the actors to speak up since yelling “Your cock feels so good!” makes it lose it’s sexiness and also makes you look a little crazed so my suggestion is subtitles in porn. Closed captioning maybe? Not in the sense that it is in the porn and you can’t change it but just offer that as a special feature like have an option that says: “To Hear The Dirty Talk, Click Here!” or something lol I don’t know man, SOMEthing. Does this already exist in porn? I wonder if the closed captioning on my t.v can pick up the subtle words of naughtiness being uttered into the ears of hot adult film stars…hmm.Maybe they aren’t saying anything sexy at all. Perhaps they are having deep philosophical debates about quantum mechanics and chemical engineering. You may think they are saying things like “oh baby I love that cock” but in all actuality they are really saying “oh baby I love that renal chloride re-absorption.”  That is probably where the term ‘Talk nerdy to me’ originated. Hyper-Intelligent porn stars.

"You are such a hot mass of hydrocarbon baby"

On a side note, I have lately been perfecting my hand-job skills. I already feel as though my blowies are up to par so I just have to work on the old-fashioned. I’ve recently started doing what I refer to as a ‘half-n-half’. This basically entails you blowing him until your jaw starts to hurt then you switch into a hand job to finish him off so it’s half a blowie and half a hand job 🙂 My boyfriend seems to really enjoy this new technique of mine so I suggest trying it out at home with your lover, if you haven’t already. I’m sure people have been doing this for years and years but it’s new to me and plus I gave it a cute name so booya.

 

New Years Eve in Las Vegas July 1, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — vukizzle @ 8:59 pm
Tags: , ,

 

At the closing of each year people all over the world, regardless of race or religious beliefs all celebrate a global holiday. One final party to say farewell to the past and welcome in the future with open, and typically drunken arms. I speak of course about New Years Eve. New Years is one of the very few holidays in existence that is celebrated by not just one group like Americans on the Fourth of July and Christmas for only those that believe in it but by all the people of the world. This truly makes it a special event. Knowing that all across the globe, people are ringing in the New Year in their own towns gives one a sense of togetherness and unity. Some cities make New Years Eve into the biggest party of the year like the well known mass gathering at Times Square in New York where they traditionally drop the giant ball as the clock strikes midnight. Las Vegas has been giving New York a run for it’s money in the past several years in terms of the ultimate party destination for New Years Eve by bringing in the biggest names in entertainment and throwing the most talked about bashes at the top clubs. New Years Eve in Vegas is truly a sight to be seen. Thousands upon thousands of people flooding the Vegas Strip turning the once traffic ridden street into a living river of bodies. The lines at the nightclubs go from slightly long to “Sweet lord, look at that line!”. If you do plan on coming to Vegas for New Years I highly suggest planning ahead. By which I mean figure out what you want to do when you arrive at least 2-3 weeks in advance. If you are waiting it out to see which celebrity will be at which club you may be out of luck as most clubs don’t release their guest host until a week prior to the actual event date. They have also been known to simply say they will have a “surprise host” leaving you to only guess who will be there so trying to plan around a certain celeb isn’t the best way to go. I recommend picking the venue first. Look around online and see which clubs appear as though they will suit your group best based upon the pictures and reviews from past clientele on websites like Yelp. Also keep in mind that regardless of where you go, you will be spending some money so make sure it’s at a place you enjoy so that you won’t be left with the bitter thoughts of “If I knew I was gonna spend this much I would have gone to *** instead!”

 

{I had written this post for our companies website and liked it so I wanted to share on my personal blog}