Just The Girl Next Door (if she hunted zombies and watched porn)

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Zombie Prom!!! June 27, 2011

Hello my Loves!!! Did you have a nice weekend? Has anyone asked you yet if you are suffering from a case of the Mondays? Did you resist the urge to sock that person in the jaw? Good for you! Well I don’t know about you guys but I had a pretty kick-ass weekend. As most of you already know from my previous blog post and numerous tweets, I attended the annual Zombie Prom on Friday and it was AWESOME. I ended up picking the purple dress from our dress hunt because as I said, it felt like the dress that Prince would have picked….had he been shopping with me at Goodwill. Which would have been rad. But I digress. After work on Friday I went home and me and Jessica (my bestie and date for ZP) started getting ready immediately. Well, almost immediately. First we had to smoke the awesome new bong that my lover bought us.

Zee Bong

Then Jessica torso danced on my couch like the goofball that she is. Which is yet another reason I lurve her so dam much πŸ™‚

After the upper-body dancing had ended it was then time to put on the layers of makeup necessary to make us look like undead bitches. Oh…but first we did this:

EXTREME DUCKLIPPING!!

We are currently practicing for the Extreme Ducklipping competition that is to be held in the fall of this year. I hear it’s even gonna be an Olympic sport now. Anywho, we did eventually start getting ready and it looked something like this:

Annnnnd here is the finished product of the hour and half makeup applications:

This is what I looked like when we were done πŸ™‚

Meeeeeeeeeeee

Aaaaaaaaaaaand this is what my sink looked like when we were done lol

Suuuuch a mess. Fake skin and blood eeeeverywhere.

After we got ready we got into my car..very carefully so as not to get too much crap all over the inside of my car meaning I didn’t want zombie makeup all over my seats but, meh. What can ya do. It was inevitable. Once we got the Downtown, which is where the Zombie Prom was being held, we parked the car and began the loong walk to the Bunkhouse. Now…idk why we chose to park so very far but, well, we did. We had to walk a few blocks dressed as zombies so naturally ever 5 minutes we got some random dude trying to talk to us and we ignored all of them except for one guy who said “Heeey vampires!!” to which I said “ZOMBIES!” I am not a fucking pussy vampire you asshole. I am a zombie god dam it. Once we got there we had a few drinks and waited for my brother to show up with his friends. We were pretty much drunk by the time they got there lol

Daaaaaruuuunk

This is me and my big brother Jeff πŸ™‚

Yeah...he is such a ladies man πŸ˜›

Me and Ashley

This is me and Ashley a girl I have known since high school and she is amazing. In fact, she is so cute, here is a gratuitous picture of her:

And now back to the zombie prom lol This dude was there which was great and he had dressed like a lady.

They also had a bunch of live bands which was awesome. The bands consisted mostly of angry women which is fine with me, I love pissed of chick rockers yelling incoherently into the mic while flipping off the audience, woooooo!

After awhile I started to get restless so me and Jessica went to get McDonalds. We spent the rest of the evening smoking a joint and drunkenly eating fast food in my car which was a great way to end the night. Then I went home and took a nice drunk shower and let me say, showering when you are shit-faced is way more fun than a sober shower.

STOP, shower time

I think from now on I am gonna get wasted before each of my showers just to make them more interesting. This is what my car looked like the next day:

Note the "this is where I put out the joint" mark and the fake skin everywhere lol

The next day I woke up with a suuuuper lame hangover so I spent most of the day being extra lazy. I laid on the couch eating chocolates and watching Tales From The Hood.

I also got this foxy little outfit in the mail over the weekend and decided to put it on for my man so when he came home from work he would walk in the door and see his woman dressed like a tramp πŸ™‚ He works at a nightclub where he is surrounded by hot sluts that are all sauced up on vodka and looking to fuck so I like to be sure and remind him that he doesn’t need to go out for burgers when he has a steak at home πŸ˜‰

I also noticed my left arm is pretty much an entirely different color than the rest of my body

lol This is because when I drive home from work mon-fri the sun hits my left arm and only my left arm so it has tanned and made it look as though my arm doesn’t belong to me. It makes me feel like Wrath from the anime Full Metal Alchemist. If you have never seen that show, go watch it now because it is fucking amazing and once you finally see Wrath the joke I just made will totally make sense and you will “lol” and it will be good. And that is all I have to say about thaaaat. So have a wonderful day and even if you are having a shitty day you should cheer up because life is good πŸ™‚ Don’t believe me? Check this out:

I don’t even know what this is, or where you can get one, but all I know is that looking at this gives me hope for tomorrow. It let’s me know “hey, don’t be sad. The world is full of stuff like this. One day..you shall nom on this.” And that gives me strength to get through each day. Some people have God, I have cakes and pies.

 

Video #3 June 17, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — vukizzle @ 6:37 pm

I just realized I haven’t posted my last video on here yet so here it is

 

The Quest For The Dress

Filed under: Uncategorized — vukizzle @ 6:27 pm
Tags: , , , ,

Hello my loves!!! Happy Friday to you all πŸ™‚ As most of you already know from all of my Tweets, zombie prom is coming up next week. For those just now catching up Vegas holds an event each year which is like a prom for adults only everyone dresses up like zombies going to a prom so.. poofy dresses and fake blood everywhere. Good times. My date this year is my favorite female in Las Vegas, Jessica and yesterday we went onΒ  a wee quest to find dresses for zee prom. First we had to smoke a bit though since we all know that daily activities are made all the more amusing by reefer.

Jessica hitting my dugout πŸ™‚

I’d like to point out that I post a lot of pictures of my dugout and it looks like a cigarette but I assure you all I DO NOT smoke cigarettes. Ew. No thank you. Now, moving on I knew that I was just going to ruin the dress with zombie makeup and blood so I didn’t want to spend much money on the outfit. We chose to visit a magical land of random knick-knacks and smelly clothing. A place where one can purchase a VHS copy of Demolition Man as well as a pair of golf shoes and a slightly used walker all in one location. Some of you know this establishment by the name Goodwill. I call it heaven. Luckily for us they had a slew of dresses to choose from and we gathered up all of the most ridiculously clichΓ© prom dresses we could find and frolicked off to the dressing room to try on our awesome finds. Since the name of the event is Zombie Prom we wanted to get super-extra prom-ish dresses from the 90s which, there were plenty of there. Here are some of the gems I found:

Woooo

This black dress was awesome. I am pretty sure it was made for 12 year olds cuz I couldn’t zip it up in the back but it was a neat little dress and it made me a sad panda that it didn’t fit right cuz I would have rocked that dress like a hurricane.

Peeeeeeeeeeeenk

Yet another amazingly puffy dress. This one actually fit me though and I gave serious consideration to buying this thing for the sole purpose of running around my house in it when nobody is home like some kind of little fairy or some shit.

ooh lalaThis one I was actually surprised to find there since it was genuinely nice lol Most of the dresses there seems as though they were made for comical reasons but this one was pretty cute. I also feel like this is the dress Prince would have selected.

Virgin Suicides

Ah the little white dress. I felt like one of the broads from the movie The Virgin Suicides. The next dress (the red one) is hands down the most silly looking thing I found that day. When I was wearing it I could swear I was an extra from the Prom episode of Beverly Hills 90210, the one where Brenda finally lets Dylan’s fine ass hit that.

hahahahahaaha

So which dress did I end up choosing for zombie prom? Did I get one that wasn’t pictured here??? When will Timmy get out of the well?!?! Find out the answers to these questions and more in the next exciting blog edition of Vuko’s Life!

But wait, there’s more! Later that evening a couple that I know from Twitter was coming to town and I wanted to hang/smoke out with them so after the dress-hunt was over I went home to pick up my boyfriend and headed over to their hotel room. Meeting people from online is always sketchy. Sure you can see what they look like from their facebook and get a general idea of their personality from their posts but some people are extra-crazy psycho killers who eat skin and wear vaginas as hats so ya never know if you are meeting a cute lady or an ax murderer. Luckily in this case it was the former. If you don’t follow @RosePants on twitter I highly suggest you start. This girl is so fucking cute.

Honestly it was hard not to jump on her and administer the face licking but nay, I resisted the urge cuz I didn’t want to frighten her. Usually face licking is reserved for a second meeting πŸ™‚ Anywho, we smoked a shit-load of weed and talked about stuff-n-junk. It was pretty nice to meet another girl who can smoke like a chimney. Most chicks stop after the first two blunts but Rose kept going like a champ. Our boyfriends were there too but they were deep into some random conversation about lord knows what so who cares lol That is pretty much it! We went home around 12:30/1am so I am a little tired at work today but it was totally worth it. I’ve only met a handful of people from Twitter in real life and thus far they have all been fucking awesome. I only meet people who are either couples or a girl. I will not come meet you if you are just some dude, sorry, homie don’t play that.

Have a great rest of the day and enjoy your weekend!!!! My next blog will be after the zombie prom so I should have some awesome pics for you guys then πŸ™‚

 

Veeedeo #2 June 6, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — vukizzle @ 7:01 pm